I did not wish to be happy,I did not wish to live content away from you; so I buried myself in a gloomy world of self-torment and solitude, I would not wear the new and gay dresses they bought for me. I refused to go to concerts or to the theatre, and I would not take part in cheerful excursions.I rarely left the house. Can you believe me when I tell you that I hardly got to know a dozen streets in this little town where I lived for two years?Mourning was my joy; I renounced society and every pleasure, and was intoxicated with delight at the mortification I thus super added to the lack of seeing you. Moreover, I would let nothing divert me from my passionate longing to live only for you. Sitting alone at home, hour after hour and day after day, I did nothing but think of you, turning over in my mind unceasingly my hundred petty memories of you, renewing every movement and every time of waiting, rehearsing these episodes in the theatre of my mind. The countless repetitions of the years of my childhood from the day in which you came into my life have so branded the details on my memory that I can recall every minute of those long-passed years as if they were yesterday.